hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
