So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
