Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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