Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
