I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
