He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
