Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
thus making me awesome and them whores
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
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