speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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