apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
