don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
