so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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