it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
