It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
