I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
