Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
