Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
never play flip cup with pint glasses
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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