you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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