i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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