Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Please don't give away my fajitas
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
