i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just found puke in my bra..
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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