so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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