I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
