I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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