How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
