Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It's never too late to be topless.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
