U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
