i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
