ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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