Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
