Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
