His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
