Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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