Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
