so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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