remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
