belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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