Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
