i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
