Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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