All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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