I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
