I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
