And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
