Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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