He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You are the jesus of drinking
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
