THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
