I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
