I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
