He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
