It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
