did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
